Where do I begin? This weekend has been one of the best weekends of my life. It was where my dream was made a reality, even if I am still having to pinch myself to believe it. As with all good stories the best place to start is the very beginning, so here goes...
After returning from Lanzarote on Sunday 7th (a week until Ironman Wales) I had one day of work before heading to Tenby. The Monday was the anniversary of Rosie's death and as a family we went out for lunch. The day was tough and it was a pretty numbing thought that it had been a whole year since I had heard Rosie's voice. I worked on the Tuesday and then had Wednesday off to pack and sort myself out even though I didn't start doing anything really until the evening - classic Hollie leaving things until last minute (this did of course include dying my hair pink in Rosie's memory as tradition states). Thursday morning arrived and I was so excited. I was eager to get to Tenby and get involved in Ironman fever! I had a much needed massage in the morning and then I was on the long drive to Pembrokeshire. I was traveling there alone and staying on my own for the Thursday night before my parents joined me late on Friday. This didn't bother me, I made the decision to get there on Thursday so I didn't feel rushed and potentially flustered for the biggest event of my life. I needed to be in my best condition after all. I also knew I had people I could meet down there and if all else failed I like my own company and would take it as a time to reflect.
I managed to miss all the traffic on my drive and had a smooth run. I wish I could recall all of what I was thinking on that journey. What I do remember thinking to myself is whatever happens just enjoy the day. I kept saying when someone asked me whether I would qualify, "what will be will be". This was me trying to put a positive spin on the growing doubts in my head. Despite these though I was ridiculously excited to arrive.
I got to Tenby and was in my hotel room opposite the finish line by 3pm. Although I had done a long drive and was tired I was too excited to sit in my room so I headed to the expo. I almost immediately bumped into people I knew including some members of the local Tri Club, Tenby Aces, I was friendly with, my coach and his wife. I assessed all the items of Ironman merchandise I wanted to cover myself in and registered. This is where the £400 entry fee starts to become worth it when you get the Ironman Wales rucksack. The time after that flew by and I had some dinner with my coach and then headed back to my room. That night my emotions started to turn. Thank you to my pink lady Sam for her texts that night calming me down. I seriously began to doubt myself and my ability. I believed I was stupid for even thinking of going for such a goal of getting to Kona. It was laughable. I had no chance of getting to the World Championships - only an elite group of people deserve to get there, who the hell did I think I was?! What made all this worse is a sore throat had begun to appear. I know tensions are high and the worry can actually cause you to think you have something but I really did have a sore throat. Worrying about this then kept me awake. I decided at 1am whilst still lying awake I was not going to the practice swim in the morning, the miles were in the bank, no point risking getting ill. Just sleep and rest - I decided that was more beneficial to me and my body.
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| My number |
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| In the race programme |
On the Friday morning I woke up in a worse state than I fell asleep. I moped down to breakfast and sat there numb. What was I doing here. The emotions of where I was hit me. Some texts where exchanged to my parents and they said they were coming down earlier in the evening. I was trying to keep strong but they were obviously worried about me mentally. After breakfast I went back to bed - I didn't want to move. I drifted off and only woke up because I had a nightmare that I had wasted the day and slept until 4pm. In reality it was 12.20pm. I did however, luckily, wake up with a new lease of life. I took a picture of the beautiful view and scorching sunshine out of my window and got myself sorted. I laid my kit out on the bed, assessed what I needed to buy (more nutrition) got changed and headed to the expo.
I lingered at the expo for a while chatting to future Ironmen and bumped into some Twitter followers (it was bloody great to put a face to the tweets!). This is what Ironman was all about - sanity was restored. I relished being in this atmosphere, it is one only an Ironman event can have. Tenby embraces this event and it was electrifying. I felt complete, whole and involved - this was my passion and I am humbled to think I am part of the community of Ironman and the camaraderie it offers. It brings people together from all walks of life and has kept me going throughout the hard year I have had to face.
By the time I had chatted to half of Tenby, got my bike race ready (had a race check and pink make over) and grabbed some more essential nutrition it was time to go to the race briefing and pasta party. Aled from Tenby Aces who I spent a lot of time with that weekend kindly drove me there. The briefing was nothing new to me and the pasta was nothing to write home about but again was another way of throwing myself into Ironman fever. When I returned my parents had arrived. It was so lovely to see them and it really cheered me up.
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| Meeting people at the pasta party |
I slept better on Friday night and before I knew it it was the day before race day! The weather was still beautiful and I headed off early Saturday morning to get some Ironman goodies (thanks mum and dad) and to rack my bike and kit in transition. I bumped into yet more people and my parents weren't surprised when I apologised for leaving them waiting because I was chatting!
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| Messing around in transition |
There was no more I could do now except for get my head in race mode. I went to meet some more people that I had had social media correspondence with over the year including Challenge Sophie (Sophie Radcliffe). It was lovely to finally meet her and despite having only just finished her Alpine Coast to Coast Challenge where she climbed the highest peaks in each of the eight Alpine countries and cycled the distance between them, she was also taking part in Ironman Wales for the second time. Sophie has been such an inspiration to me throughout the year from her outlook and attitude towards life and how she challenges herself. I have also had some lovely emails from her throughout the year. During this meeting she gave me a lovely card with some kind words and also gave me a bracelet which had a quote I love, "She believed she could so she did it" (given the result of the weekend maybe it did the trick?). I put it on almost straight away and it has remained there. It was so kind and thoughtful of her and it yet again shows how you can make a friend through the world of Twitter by having the like-minded determination to push yourself beyond what is comfortable. So thank you Sophie - I will treasure your gift always.
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| The lovely Sophie |
After seeing Sophie I went to find a perfect spot to put a padlock I had made to honour Rosie. I knew I wanted it overlooking North Beach as that is where the swim was and it also meant I would run past the spot during the marathon. I managed to find a secluded bench covered by a tree overlooking North Beach and Goskar rock in a memorial garden. I sat for about 20 minutes talking to Rosie and prayed she looked after me the following day. This was all for her and I hope she was looking down - the sun was still beating so she was certainly shining.
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| Watching over me on race morning |
I seemed to do a lot of walking on Saturday as my legs were starting to ache and had really wanted to factor a nap in. However, at 5.30pm my best friend and Ironman groupie Yuliya arrived (aptly named that because she has supported me at every Ironman event). It was great to see her and within an hour we were going to dinner. By this point the intensity of the day and the looming date of Ironman Wales was hanging over me - make way for Ironbitch. Although I have been tense and somewhat moody in the past I believe I was quite well behaved and didn't seem to snap too much. I was however ready to head to bed shortly after dinner. My mum, Yuliya and I visited the bench and padlock one last time before the event and then headed back to the hotel. Yuliya and I then sat in bed eating Milkybar buttons talking about men and laughing until I knew I should go to sleep. This was a great distraction from the nerves that were lingering about the following morning.
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| My race plan |
At 4.30am I was up and getting ready to race. Being a minute from transition 4.30 was a lie in! I had breakfast with the other athletes in my hotel and headed to transition. Transition had the atmosphere that only an Ironman event can hold. The
nervous excitement of 2000 competitors dressed in lycra and neoprene
filled the air. Apprehensive smiles and hugs were everywhere. Everyone
knew it was going to be a long day and how much everyone had sacrificed
to be there. That's the amazing thing with Ironman, everyone has a
story, a reason, a source of motivation or inspiration and you could
feel it.
The walk down to the swim is an emotional moment. I had an obligatory
cry whilst hugging my parents and Yuliya goodbye. The sky was a beautiful and
calming shade of pink. However the sea was anything but calm. As a
strong swimmer and having swum the channel earlier in the year this
didn't phase me, but I could imagine the fear the weaker swimmers would
feel. I had a practice swim and some photos and then it was time to line up. At 7am there was no time to think anymore - the Welsh national
anthem had played and the horn signalling the start had sounded. Ironman
Wales had begun.
Swim
The 2.4mile swim was brutal. The waves were head on and with every
stroke it felt like I was being pushed back. Unlike many Ironman starts I
wasn't being beaten up by the other competitors fighting for space I
was fighting the unrelenting waves. By the first buoy there was a
congestion as it seemed impossible to get round due to battle we were
all going through with the current. With lap one eventually finished it
was onto the second. A quick dash on the sand and I jumped back in. The
second lap seemed worse. I love swimming but I wanted this to be over. The chafing from my wetsuit on my neck was killing me and I had swallowed enough salt water for one day! Times all of a sudden didn't matter - this was a fight for survival.
Just get round was what I kept reiterating to myself. I was 15 minutes
slower than my desired time in 1h22 but it was over - onto the bike. I later found out that 52 people were taken out of the water during the swim and a further 60 didn't make it past the 2h20 cut off!
Before getting on the bike however there was a tough run to transition.
There was a 1km run up the zigzagging slopes of North Beach towards
transition. The support however when running along the streets of Tenby
was out of this world - a sure sign of things to come. I was on my bike
within 10 minutes and then started the longest part of the day.
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| Running out of the swim - I'm keen to get that wetsuit off |
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| War wound |
Bike
The bike course was for the most part a joy to ride. There were a few times I shed a tear on the bike. The first time was 5km in when I cycled past the house in which my family stayed last year and where Rosie passed away. I passed this twice throughout the bike course and both times I blew a kiss. The routes' scenery is beautiful - the
simple beauty of this part of Pembrokeshire does take your breath away. I
had to remind myself to keep and eye on my speed so I didn't get
distracted by the simple pleasure of cycling in a lovely part of the
world. It was easier to be distracted however when we hit Angle -
watching the waves crash against the cliffs was mesmerising. I was hitting 31kph all the way through to Angle, chicking as many people as I could. I kept using women as my targets, after all I didn't care about the men. Everytime I saw a woman I would check her number out and then go past shouting 'Well done - do it for the girls'.
The support
along the route by the locals and the competitors was so humbling - a
true sign of how Pembrokeshire embraces this amazing event. The tough
climbs of Nazaret, Wisemans Bridge and Saundersfoot (Heartbreak Hill)
lingered over me. I managed to fly up them all first time round. The
support at Saundersfoot was deafening. I felt like I was in the Tour De
France when having to battle my way past other cyclists but being
careful not to hit the supporters who were in the road. One of the cyclists I passed going up Heartbreak Hill was number 30, and I was keen to not see her again. I pushed hard up this relentless hill and carried on pushing downhill through Tenby and on to my second shorter lap. There was no way I was having her catch me again. In hindsight maybe I pushed too hard as I really felt the second lap in my legs. My quads were burning and my average speed had dropped to 27-28kph. I did however think back to a message Becky Hoare had sent me in the days before the race, "embrace the pain". I questioned how I would
ever get up Wisemans Bridge again, however after a lot of huffing and
puffing I was up that and Heartbreak Hill. The home straight followed. As I cycled downhill into Tenby I saw Jodie Moss who was a girl in my age group 3km into the run - she looked like she was in a lot of pain. Regardless of how badly I wanted Kona I still wanted to cheer her on, I shouted out "Go Jodie". I
rolled into transition in 6h56. I was chasing 7 hours so was over the moon with that. That time is nearly an hour quicker than last year a sure sign the work on my bike leg and my trips to Lanzarote has been beneficial.
Run
I had a storming transition of 3 minutes and it was time for the marathon. I ran out smiling - I felt great. I instantly had a pain in my left foot but after a while it faded. Regardless of what happened I was going to become an Ironman again. I knew from previous experience that this was a tough run. My
strategy was plod up, run down, use the crowd to push you around town.
My first lap went to plan, I was hitting my desired time splits. I saw Jodie on my way up, she was hardly
able to register me she was in so much pain - I never saw her again so I
figured she had pulled out. I was 5 minutes behind the number 2 slot at this point and gaining. This was all to play for.
I tend
to excel on the run, not because it's my best discipline, far from it,
but merely because being a chatter box I could talk to people. What I
love about the Ironman Wales run course is that being a 4 lap course you
can encourage your fellow competitors on. I high-fived other runners on
a regular basis and some people knew me so would cheer for me - it was great. On a physical note however I did struggle during the
run. By the second lap I had been sick three times and feeling pretty
rough - this cost me a precious 10 minutes which ultimately lost me second place in my age group. With some water and some words to myself I managed to get back on track.
Upon receiving my final pink band I was on the home straight down the
hill and around the town. The support Tenby gave was incredible. Every
lap people got louder as the drinks flowed more. In my bright custom
made tri suit I was also hard to miss. I cannot thank the supporters
along the way enough, especially the ones who came to see me and cheered extra loud for me - you made me smile when I didn't feel like
smiling!
Turning left to run along the esplanade is a feeling I will
never forget. As I approached the magic red carpet my eyes had welled up
and I had to put my sunglasses back on hide the inevitable tears. I
waved my union jack flag above my head and ran across the line in 13h47.
I had done it and for the first time I crossed the line I felt something other than relief; pride. My parents came over and I absolutely balled it in their arms. I had got a slower time than I had wanted and what I thought needed to qualify but I fought hard out on that brutal course and after all all I wanted was a PB and I achieved that. I battled with the waves during the swim, fought the Pembrokeshire hills
on the bike and despite being sick managed to complete the run even if it was one of the slowest marathon times I have ever done and 15 minutes slower than last year. I for once didn't beat myself up about this, I was over the moon to be an Ironman again and I know whole heatedly I gave it my all. There was no bad news at the finish line this time - it was time to celebrate. The obligatory champagne followed and I saw the rest of the
competitors in - the last coming in with just over 1 minute to spare
before the 17 hour cut off. What a day!
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| The relief and the pride |
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| Smile - it's all over |
Thank you to everyone who sent me lovely messages and to those supported me be that on the course or electronically. Thank you also to those who tracked me all day - I promise you it really pushed me on during the race knowing you were doing so, if I could've gone faster in the run I would've! I had so many notifications on social media pose event it was incredible and although I couldn't reply personally to you all I really do appreciate it. I do owe the biggest thank you to my personal support crew on the day. I know it is a long a tiring day watching an Ironman and I know that being in Tenby again would've been just as tough emotionally as it was for me.
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| Me and my support crew with the deserved T-shirts |
I found out via messages that night I had come third in my age group. What I didn't realise last year is this means I get a trophy at the award ceremony so thought I would go along the morning after. I would obviously stick around for the roll down, you know, just in case the other two didn't want it (of course this was a stupid thought!). Upon seeing the break down of my time splits against the other competitors I went quiet. I was a mere 13 minutes behind second place. I felt sick - if I hadn't had stopped to be sick I would've been there. If the number one slot didn't take her place and the second did, my pride would've disappeared - how can I have been so close and let it slip like that! The beating up of my efforts had begun.
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| On the podium |
I did however enjoy the award ceremony and the hype of being there. Everyone was wearing their finishers tshirts with a certain swagger. After the professionals presentation I was called to the stage to be awarded my third place trophy (and what a call trophy it was!). I congratulated my fellow age groupers as they came up on stage. As we walked off stage they both stopped me. It was here that they told me, "We are not going to Kona, the slot is yours". I froze and my eyes instantly welled up (they are as I write this now). I have tried to remember what I said to them but I'm sure there was a look of disbelief followed by a remark to echo that. The watery eyes turned to tears and I hugged them both and thanked then. Karen (who came second) said she had read my blog and thought I was amazing and inspiring. Since talking to her after the event she said she couldn't think of anyone else she would want to take it more than myself. Just wow - there are some lovely people in this world. You couldn't write my life sometimes (I'm still giving it a good go by writing a blog though). Yuliya, Aled, my coach and his wife all looked on this meeting with questioning glances. (I had told my parents not to come as I was adamant I wouldn't get the
slot so there was no point them hanging around). One spectator who was sat with us had clocked on and guessed "I think the girls have just said they're not going to Kona". As I walked back to my seat everyones eyes had welled up and I was shaking uncontrollably. I looked upto the ceiling and said, "We did it - Rosie we fucking did it". The next bit was to wait for the roll down. When it got to my age group the first place name was called out three times. If there was no answer it rolled down to the next. Those were anxious moments. The second I heard my name called out I had stood up and said yes. I can't remember if there were claps but I walked up to the stage and was awarded with a Hawaiian lei this time - I have to say it topped the trophy. That cheap lei from poundland was worth more than any money. I am going to Kona and no-one can ever take that away from me. Yuliya who knows me too well did say almost instantly, "Don't you dare say you don't deserve this slot just because you didn't automatically qualify". I replied saying saying I didn't think that because plenty of people qualify via roll down. However I am not going to lie it has played on my mind since. Do I really deserve this?
Moving on from this negative thought however I am still in complete shock. People can judge my time and say it's not good enough but I fought hard on that course physically and emotionally and so what if a bit of luck helped me qualify. I got that lei around my neck and as a strong believer in fate believe my achievement happened for a reason. I went out and celebrated in style on Monday, falling over in only the classy way I can around the streets of Tenby. Now I am back home I am also sleeping rubbish for fear its all a dream. I really am having to pinch myself. Achieving this is a huge feat for me personally as well as for Rosie. During my tribute to Rosie in her funeral I admitted that getting to Kona was a lifetime dream of mine but I dismissed it as being impossible considering the competition. It was only Rosie's death that taught me to chase your dreams and made me realise you should shoot for the moon. There were only 50 slots out of 2000+ athletes on offer and one in my age group, that's some statistic. Ironman is my passion and I have labelled myself an Irongeek. I have read IronWar three times and anyone who wants to be on my support crew next year has to qualify by reading it! (I shall be reading it again before I go). I love the history behind Kona and the prestige it holds. To be racing there means more to me than words can express. Kona was the location for the first Ironman in 1978 and began with a debate as to who was tougher: the swimmer, the cyclist or the runner? It has since become the pinnacle of triathlons attracting the best Ironman in the world who all fight it out to be the Ironman World Champion. To be amongst this elite group of athletes is an absolute honour. I have come such a long way to getting to this moment. I was not not a natural athlete as a child but this proves that anything is possible with the determination, motivation and inspiration to push yourself. My inspiration is and will always be Rosie, I cannot thank her enough for blessing my life with hers and I can't thank her enough for taking me on this journey. I hope she is looking down with pride - we did it and my journey continues.
The next imminent chapter on my journey is my move to Lanzarote in 35 days. What better location is there to get myself in the best physical condition possible to race against the best in the world in the lava fields of Kona? I cannot wait to be running along the Ali'i Drive next October - following the footsteps of The Greats I respect and admire so much such as Dave Scott, Mark Allen and Chrissie Wellington (to name a few). This is my moment.
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| Cheers Tenby! |
