The day my sister became a marathon runner

 On Sunday the 13th of April I saw my sister become a marathon runner. Although I was not running it here is my emotional race report of the amazing day.

 So I shall start at the very beginning. On the Saturday after work I traveled up to London with Dan. We were staying over the night before as Emma had asked me to be with her at the start. We ended up in a very posh hotel (The Rosewood in Holborn) as the one we were due to be staying at (the same one as Emma and Des) could no longer fulfill our booking. The hotel had a Savoy type feel to it and definitely not one we could afford to fork out for alone at £500 per night, but it was a lovely treat even if we were only there for a few hours! After literally dropping our bags off in the room we were out the door again to meet Emma, Des and another couple for dinner. Obviously as it was the night before a marathon it was essential to go to an Italian for some much needed pasta carb loading. Emma never has been a big eater and I was forcing her to continue eating even when she exclaimed she was full. The meal was lovely - we chatted and laughed so much we were in tears.

Sam, Emma and me

 I was still organising where Emma's supporters would go so was on the phone a fair bit trying to make my instructions clear to them as well as let Emma know where we will be. I began getting so nervous for her, I knew full well the heightened emotions and nerves that flow through you before big events. We left Emma by her hotel at Liverpool Street around 10.30pm so was later than I had expected but it shows how quick time goes when having fun. That said Emma needed to get to sleep, something she was worried she may struggle to do knowing the importance of the day after. I gave her a huge hug and Dan and I got back on the tube to our fancy hotel.

 I had everything laid out for the morning as I was planning an early start. I wanted to be at Emma's hotel for 8am and leaving to get to the start in Greenwich at 8.30am. When my alarm went off I was straight up. I showered and put my 'Go Emma' tshirt on. I had organised to have these made for everyone who wanted to support Emma and some of the proceeds go to the charity Emma was raising money for, Young Epilepsy. I ended up ordering 62 of them! (It was meant to be a huge secret until the night before but someone gave the game up beforehand. Even so the pictures of people in them showing their support started to pour in on messages and on Facebook and I hope that gave Emma a boost).

The tshirts I had made in support of Emma

 So with my tshirt on I took a selfie of me in it to express the support and pride I felt for my sister. I wrote, "Good luck my beautiful brave sister at the London Marathon today! Here's my selfie of my tshirt wishing you luck! Just on my way to see you now and escort you to the start. I know full well the nerves that you will be feeling right now but know you will be amazing. You have trained so hard and endured so much pain and I am so unbelievably proud of you. Rosie will be with you ALL the way xxx". I knew that a 'crash' (my emotional low) was due as I hadn't had one for a while and was quiet and reserved on the lead up to this day (I'm sure Dan noticed this). I also hadn't let many tears flow for a while. I therefore knew this day was going to be an emotional one. I wore my tshirt with such pride whilst on the tube and refused to put a jumper over the top of it even though I was slightly chilly. Dan had been sick during the night and felt rough so he didn't join me to Emma's hotel but vowed if he did feel better he would catch up with me. I was not letting anything spoil this day and after breakfast went alone.

 I got to Emma's hotel as planned at 8am. I needed to do a small minor adjustment to the tshirt I had made Emma so got an iron delivered to her room. Emma seemed pretty relaxed and calm, although that was nearly ruined when she couldn't find her socks! I strapped her knee and ankle up with some Kinesio tape and then revealed the vest I had personalised for her to wear. She seemed to love it and will use it for future events so I was pleased. It was then time to take a picture of her beforehand for memories sake and to let her supporters know what she was wearing so it was easier to look out for her. Lee then arrived, Emma's running partner who had also got a charity place in memory of Rose. I was so gutted I was not running alongside them but was still looking forward to seeing Emma complete her challenge.

 Dan made it to Emma's hotel in the end and we were a tad late leaving at 8.45am but managed to make it to the start just before the entrance closed. We also managed to get a few more pictures in Greenwich Park. Saying goodbye to Emma was tough and the first tears of the day began to fall. I wished them both good luck - they were on their way! The sun was already out and continued to shine throughout the day. Rosie was shining down from the start.

Before the race in Greenwich Park

Emma and I before our emotional goodbye

 Dan being a seasoned London Marathon spectator due to my previous exploits had a plan. We went to mile 6 and saw them come past bang on time around 11.15am (1hr into the event). I had told Emma and Lee that many get carried away with the excitement of such an event and push the pace too early only to struggle later on. I have done this in the past and have since learnt from my mistake and although Lee is a faster runner swore to keep to Emma's maintainable and consistent pace of 10 minute miles. This would see them finishing in 4h30 (Emma's desired finish time). So I was over the moon when I worked out they were bang on their desired pacing. I literally blinked and almost missed them but managed to get a "Go Emma - Love you!" in there which got some "Awww's" from the crowd surrounding us. It was then on to Canary Wharf - the 17-18 mile mark. I had already lost nearly all my battery due to checking Emma's progress online, keeping in contact with others around the course who had seen them, updating people on Facebook on how they were doing and constantly texting and calling people to organise where they where and where they were headed. When we got to Canary Wharf we had about 45 minutes before I wanted to be on the move again so I got a coffee and charged my phone up. I had planned to stay put and meet my best friends Ele and Yuliya there but Canary Wharf station is a lot bigger than I envisioned. After a ridiculous amount of confused calling I finally caught up with them. I wanted to be right by the barriers so that I could give Emma some High5 Zero tabs as know she feels the benefit of them, especially as around mile 18 things begin to get tougher. I positioned myself at the 30km mark in between Ryan (Rosie's boyfriend) and Dan with Yuliya and Ele. When I got a call from Dan exclaiming Emma had been asking for her drink my heart sank. I had been staring at all the competitors but completely missed Emma and Lee. I was gutted, angry and most of all upset. Then started touchy and determined Hollie (a mix that doesn't bode for the best mood especially with company).

Emma and Lee at mile 18

 I marched my companions to another tube station at mile 21 in the hope we might just be able to catch Emma before she had gone past. I managed to squeeze my way to a barrier and climb onto it so I had a higher viewpoint. After about 10 minutes I saw some purple run past and I screamed to Emma and gave her her drink. She was looking tired but still looking strong and determined - she later said that mile 21 was the worst point. The next time I would see her she would be a marathon runner. With that realisation my mood somewhat changed. I apologised for being miserable beforehand but then began to think a lot and go deep into myself. (I'll apologise again now to Dan, Yuliya and Ele for being crap company that day. I was anxious for Emma and emotional for what the day stood for. I can't express how much it meant to me and to Emma you being there). Whilst on the rammed tube on the way to Green Park I started crying. Now I am not someone who cries a lot especially not in public but the emotions swept over me. The pain of losing Rosie and what Emma was doing in honour of her was overwhelming. I put my face down and covered my head with my hands to try and hide the tears but I was fooling no-one. When we got off the tube I stormed off ahead to try and compose myself alone. I knew that if Yuliya, Ele or Dan went to comfort me I would crumble, even if a hug is what I wanted more than anything in that moment.

Emma at mile 25 - nearly there!

 It took us ages to cross the bridge over the finish meet and greet and as everyone was using their phones, trying to get hold of anyone was a nightmare. Furthermore, my battery was almost flat again (bloody iPhones!). I had agreed to meet Emma by the 'D' banner but after 45minutes of standing in the scorching heat we gave up and headed to the pub where everyone was meeting. I was in desperate need of a beer by this point! I still believe it is harder to spectate than to run the marathon and it really made me appreciate all of the support I get along the sidelines of my events, particularly an Ironman which really is a full day. I hadn't eaten since breakfast at 7am so when I had a Peroni it went straight to my head. A large glass of red wine later and I was pretty tipsy (endurance drink training is needed). Emma was wearing her heels at the pub and had you not known any different would've thought she was just Sunday drinker at the pub. Truly amazing.
 The wine I mentioned had obviously hit me which only heightened the emotions I had been feeling throughout the day. When it came for Emma to say goodbye I was a mess. I clung onto her not wanting to let her go and barely got my words out through the tears when saying how proud I was of her. I have never in my lifetime felt that sense of pride - is that what having kids feels like? We were the last ones to say goodbye to one another (probably because we were dreading it) and our crying into each others arms had attracted our group which consisted of many friends and family - I think everyone knew how much this moment meant to us. I have become extremely close to Emma since September last year. Being sisters we had that strong connection previously and Emma was always more of a best friend to me. Being girls we have used each other for support and when Emma had my interests in running as a form of therapy it bonded us even more considering my passion for endurance sports. Eventually I let Emma go and upon doing so she reiterated something we always exclaim - how hard it is to say goodbye to me. I hated seeing her go and continued crying in Dan's arms until we had finished our drinks. Dan thankfully cheered me up a little by making me laugh and I toddled off to the station in my somewhat tipsy state.

 I had work at 6am the next day but that didn't stop me having a little more wine when we got back. I ended up crying alone in the bathroom for about an hour while Dan went to bed but knew that I had to get the emotions out. Life still feels completely unfair and cruel and I miss Rosie more than ever but what Emma achieved that day can never be taken away. I am so proud and happy for her and we vowed next year we shall be doing it together. (Emma is also doing the New York marathon in October so her focus and training continues). We plan to do many charity events over the next year in order to get the required charity money to race together (this will be aside from my Hollie4Kona mission). The big event will be a posh frock ball in March which will celebrate Rosie's 21st birthday and we will aim to do it the way she would've wanted it. This will be an emotional event to organise but also an exciting one and one that will give us both a focus and distraction over the next year - something we both need. I'm sure yet again it will bring us closer.

 So finally I forgot to mention - Emma and Lee completed in 4h34 an absolutely amazing time especially for your first marathon. I just want to finish by saying congratulations to my lovely sister Emma, I am so unbelievably proud of you. What you have done is inspirational and to raise over £13,000 for a cause so close to yours and our families hearts is truly amazing. I also have to say a huge well done and thank you to Lee. Lee recently lost his brother and I am sure he was there shining down on you too. Thank you for looking after Emma that day. The pride I feel for you both cannot be expressed.

Finishing in 4h34 - what a day!

The post race smiles - you are marathon runners!